Delpo goes down, double bagels and Kuznetsova all dressed up

"Yup. A real head scratcher."

Ahhhhh. The first week of play is over at the 2013 Australian Open. I dare say most everything has been going to plan, with the exception of sixth-seeeded Juan Martin del Potro’s 5-set loss to Frenchie Jeremy Chardy in the third round yesterday. If you follow me on Twitter (self-promo alert: @RawUncutTennis), you will have witnessed my conniption during the tennis match. You see, Delpo and I have a very special relationship. ‘Special’ as in I totally wrangled him into taking a picture with me after Taste of Tennis one year along with Karen from Tennis Panorama. Whatever. When he loses, I feel it, okay?

Sam Stosur imploded during her epic choke against Jie Zheng in the second round – certainly not “BREAKING NEWS!” for her in Oz. Disappointing? Yes. Shocking? Hell nah nah. Other than that, the faves have been making pretty quick work of their foes. Maria Sharapova not only performed a single axel, triple sow cow, double double bagel in her first two rounds, but also a pseudo-controversial post-match celebration after crushing Venus Williams. (Shrieka and/or her corporate sponsor doppelganger also officially joined Twitter.)

"Thumbs up for me in a dress?"

Like the Russian giant, Serena Williams has been barely losing games. She’s been rolling over her opponents and almost took her right ankle with her. But ReRe redeemed herself by pummeling two 128 mph serves – that’s gotta make a girl feel good. During her match against an injured Jamie Hampton (who can hit a serious ball) Victoria Azarenka seemed…cranky. Maybe she needs a RedFoo diet. Svetlana Kuznetsova is wearing a dress. That alone is news. But the 2-time Grand Slammer is having a good streak and winning matches. Shhhh! Don’t tell her.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PETRA KVITOVA? We didn’t get any closer to answering this question in Oz. Sadly.

"Gimme that MOMA, Worm."

Novak Djokovic is looking pretty flawless in game and Uniqlo fashion. Roger Federer and Andy Murray haven’t lost a set either, but they've all had some tight sets. Still, in this form, it’s hard to see any of them getting upset before the semifinals. Jerzy Janowicz gave an Oscar-winning performance. Can you believe the fucking unbelievably bad luck Brian Baker has had with injuries? It was heartbreaking to see him being wheeled off the court after tearing his meniscus during his second round match against Sam Querrey. Another four months out for BB. On the opposite side of the tennis spectrum, Rafael Nadal announced he’s officially returning a bit earlier at the Chilean Open on February 4. Rafanatics rejoice!

So, onto the second week. Bring it.

[Photo(s) credit: Getty Images, AP]

FASHION FIX: Tomas Berdych in H&M

No, you're not looking at Tomas Berdych's practice kit. The Czech baller, who had been sponsored by Nike for years, is now working H&M, beginning at this year's Australian Open and off court as well.

I'm all for simple and classic, but these duds are severely under the top. Maybe it was a rush job or something. Hopefully, the fashion brand will give him something more like fashion in the near future. 

As for the shorts, I'm not sure what everyone is bitching about on Twitter. They're not that short. Gimme 70's McEnroe/Borg crotch huggers any day on ballers with legs like Big Berd. Besides, someone needed to carry Vika's torch this year.

[Photo(s) credit: Getty]

After a break, a return to form for the 2013 Australian Open

"We're on top of the world! And, so HAWT."

Rafael Nadal totally ruined our plan. We were supposed to make our return to tennis together, and then he had to ruin it by picking up that stupid stomach thingy and withdrawing from the Australian Open. I’m never making plans with you again, Rafa. NEVAH.

Soooooo. Anything exciting happen while I was away getting hitched and soaking in my new married life? Duh, of course. Andy Murray finally breaking through and getting that Grand Slam monkey of his ghostly white back (see photo below) tops my list. I definitely was hoping for more tears, sobs or blubbering after he clinched match point at the Flushing Meadows, but he’s British. It's like trying to get Victoria Azarenka to take it down 1000 notches. Ain't. Gonna. Happen. His win over Roger Federer at the Olympics only a few weeks after losing the Wimbledon final was so impressive. Will 2013 be the long-awaited moment when a Brit is once again named "The All England Lawn Tennis Club Single Handed Champion of the World?"

"Look at me. You're useless, sun."

Serena Williams is tennis’s golden girl at the moment – or is she one of the Golden Girls of tennis? Hell, she even lives in South Florida, so I guess both. I'll be damned if she isn't seemingly getting better with age after having one of her best seasons on the WTA tour at the age of 31, winning Wimbledon, the U.S. Open and the singles and doubles gold with sister Venus at the Olympics. If ReRe’s winning run in Brisbane is any indicator, she hasn’t stepped off the gas having now won 52 of her last 54 matches. But what’s with her swapping the actress-dates-rapper story for a rumored tennis coach-dates-tennis baller one aka Patrick Mouratoglou? Whatever’s going on with them, it’s working.

"Keep your eyes on the prize, Patty."

What else? Well, Maria Sharapova completed a Career Slam by winning the French Open. That was pretty cool. But, the Russian revealed at the U.S. Open that she and fellow giant Sasha Vujacic called off their engagement, and now she’s rumored to be dating Grigor Dimitrov. There's even a video encounter to "prove" it. Novak Djokovic ended 2012 as the year-end No.1 for the second consecutive year; he held it for most of last year with Fed holding the top spot in middle. Speaking of the Swiss, he won his 17th major title at the All-England Club, while Vika won her first in Oz.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH PETRA KVITOVA?! Sorry. Had to get that out.

I love this time of year. Like any beginning, it can set the tone for the entire season. There’s so much potential and possibility. But it’s not how you start – it’s how you end. Will any lady baller be able to stand tall against ReRe? The top women can’t even take sets from her right now, nevermind win matches. Maybe it’ll be some precocious up-and-comer with a big game and no fear a la Shrieka circa 2004; but they don’t come around that often anymore.

Rafa won’t be anywhere near his best level when he returns, so that leaves Nole, Muzz and Fed to scoop up the Grand Slam goodies. Or maybe someone else will break through their stranglehold on the majors. But who – Juan Martin del Potro, Tomas Berdych, David Ferrer, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga? Maybe one of the young, massive-serving ballers like Milos Raonic or Jerzy Janowicz will shock and awe or Grisha will fulfill his tremendous potential. That being said, it’s hard to see anyone breaking through the Top 3 especially at Slams. But as Rafa takes time to sharpen up his game, that will leave a hole in tourney draws for opportunist ballers ready to make their move.

Game on.

P.S. Getting married was and is awesome. Don’t believe the “it’s just a piece of paper” bullshit. Even though Kalil and I have been together almost 13 years, it does feel different in a great way. Plus, the reception was phenomenal. I danced my ass off. Seriously, I had to scrape it off the floor. This dance party was uber-special. So, if you’re thinking there’s no point in getting married because you already “feel” married, I say take the plunge and do it for reals.

[Photo(s) credit: Getty Images, Victoria Azarenka Facebook page]

Letter to DtL readers: Not now, but later

Maybe this is better than kissing an Olympic gold medal. Maybe.

So, my apologies for having you look at that picture of Svetlana Kuznetsova and her hairy situation for months. It was cruel and unusual punishment.

I wanted to drop you guys a note about the status of Down the Line! With the wedding coming up, I won't be able to cover the US Open. So, at this point it just made sense to shut it down for the remainder of the 2012 season. But, I do plan to get back to some form of regular blogging next year. For those of you who have stuck around I say THANK YOU.

See you on the other side.

Rich

[Photo(s) credit: Getty Images]

PHOTO OP: Kuznetsova's hairy situation

Maria Sharapova showed a photo of herself with short locks over on Facebook and the tennis world went cray. Then we found out it was a wig.

Svetlana Kuznetsova showed up at the FED CUP presser in Moscow today wearing this hairy situation on her head. Then we found out it's REAL.

So...Alexandr. Give Sveta her hair back.

[Photo(s) credit: AP]

FASHION FIX: adidas for Roland Garros 2012

Andy Murray
Barricade Crew in dark onix and high energy

Caroline Wozniacki 
adidas by Stella McCartney Performance Tank + Skirt in yellow

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga
adizero Crew in power green and high energy

Ana Ivanovic
adizero Dress in super green and core energy

Fernando Verdasco
adizero Verdasco Crew in electricity and high energy

A couple of more shots including Jo-Willy and a BODY BONUS courtesy of Fer after the jump - click the headline, y'all.

VIDEO VAULT: Nadal + Ronaldo + Nike = BRILLIANT

Footennis is SO very.

[Via Nike Football]

SIGHTING: Model Zaira Nara all up in Monaco's box

WAG Zaira Nara watched boy toy, Juan Monaco, back up his win over Andy Roddick by crushing Mardy Fish 6-1, 6-3 to reach the Sony Ericsson Open semifinals, his second trip to a Masters 1000. He'll face top baller Novak Djokovic for a place in Sunday's final.

It was also the Argentine's 28th birthday. Nice present, eh?

[Photo(s) credit: Al Bello/Getty Images]

PHOTO OP: Serena Williams is aghast

"The purple thing with the white lines...put the ball there!"

Serena Williams couldn't find her game and Caroline Wozniacki took full advantage, ousting the 5-time Sony Ericsson champ 6-4, 6-4 in the quarterfinals and earning her first win over ReRe. The Dane will face off against Maria Sharapova, who finally beat Li Na 6-3, 6-0 after losing the last four, in the semifinals.

Yeah, Wozzi did her usual counter-puncher-thingy but with a little bit more...er...aggression? It's true. She hit her first serve with some pop at times and her forehand held up against ReRe's which found the net more than anything else. Maybe being knocked from the WTA Penthouse will end up being the best thing that could've happened to Wozzi. Maybe.

[Photo(s) credit: Michael Regan/Getty Images]

PHOTO OP: Dolgopolov's hairy situation

Alexandr Dolgopolov is taking this whole "co-ed on spring break" thing a little too far. 

What's next - a tramp stamp?

[Photo(s) credit: Matthew Stockman/Getty Images]