(UPDATED) Federer featured on ESPN The Magazine cover, but don't tell Sports Illustrated

So Sports Illustrated's won't ever give Roger Federer the Sportsman of the Year Award and cover for his historic achievements in tennis but ESPN The Magazine will put his big, finely coiffed mug on their May 3 cover with the headline, "WHO'S THE WORLD'S GREATEST ATHLETE? ROGER FEDERER LOOKS THE PART."

Good on ya.

UPDATE: Some behind the scenes footage of with Fed at the photoshoot. (via Great Tennis Photos)



[Photo(s): ESPN The Magazine]

Beautiful Bolelli continues seasonal slump - but not everything seems sad

Aw, poor Simone "The Beautiful" Bolelli.

Not only is the Italian having the tennis season from absolute HELL, traveling between Challenger-level events and winning only one match on the ATP World Tour by way of an injury withdrawal by Tommy Robredo earlier this week in Barcelona, he also retired from his third round match today against David Ferrer with a wrist injury. He was trailing his Spanish foe by the scoreline of 0-6, 0-3. Double drats.

Beautiful looks so sad in this picture, no? But at least his nipple is happy. That makes me kinda happy now too.

[Photo(s): Reuters]

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Sandra Bernhard

Venus and Serena, they plan the shit! They got their color-coded tournaments. They come out and they give you headwrap. They give you big hoop earring. They give you big jewelry. They play with all that and they work it!

- Cabaret performer, comedienne, actress, writer, songstress, former friend of Madge (anything else?) Sandra Bernhard on the fashion of Venus + Serena Williams

ROFL! Love her.

*rolls*

[Photo(s): womenstennisblog.com]

SIGHTING: Broddick in Hawaii, A-Rod offers man-candy moment

Andy Roddick + wifey Brooklyn Decker were spotted grabbing some sun on a beach in Hawaii on Tuesday. Brooklyn was shooting scenes for her upcoming movie Just Go With It starring rom-com queen Jennifer Aniston + Adam Sandler. The pair were also celebrating their 1-year anniversary.

Not that it really matters to me but why is Brooklyn, the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl, fully clothed on a beach? Maybe she just stepped off the set or something. Anyway, I'd be truly concerned if A-Rod was covered up but luckily he's not, showing us all who owns the real curves in this relationship (try not to stare at those ass-ets - I dare you.)

He's playing the role of trophy wife extremely well, huh?

More of A-Rod's man-candy moment below...

[Photo(s): PacificCoastNews.com]

PHOTO OP: Jo-Willy's hair piece needs an update, like stat

"If only my hair piece didn't match my shorts..."

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga flashed his trim, sexy tummy during his 6-3, 6-2 opening round win over Czech Jan Hajek in Barcelona. The third seed will next face Nicolas Almagro for a spot in the quarterfinals.

I'm happy that Jo-Willy has nothing even close to an MBB on his bod - thank GAWD for small favors. But what's going on with his 'do? It looks like an interchangeable, snap on hair piece. If that's the case I think he should go on court with this number:


I think it's PERFECT for the glitz + glamour of a U.S. Open match under the lights. Or disco theme night on American Idol. Whichevah.

Imagine the possibilities...

[Photo(s): Gawker.com, Reuters]

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Rafa

I’m in perfect shape. I feel very good, but I don’t want a repeat of what happened last year. For my tennis to be at the right level, I have to be physically well and that’s my principal objective. I’m being as cautious as possible so that I can play the maximum amount possible. Playing three weeks straight is not the best for me.

- Rafael Nadal on skipping this week's tourney in Barcelona where he's 5-time champ

Smart move. When you've so thoroughly dominated the rest of the field on clay over your career I think you can skip a tourney here or there on the slippery stuff and it won't really matter.

But what does matter? Health. And longevity. So enjoy your week off Rafa.

[Photo(s): Getty]