Delpo goes down, double bagels and Kuznetsova all dressed up

"Yup. A real head scratcher."

Ahhhhh. The first week of play is over at the 2013 Australian Open. I dare say most everything has been going to plan, with the exception of sixth-seeeded Juan Martin del Potro’s 5-set loss to Frenchie Jeremy Chardy in the third round yesterday. If you follow me on Twitter (self-promo alert: @RawUncutTennis), you will have witnessed my conniption during the tennis match. You see, Delpo and I have a very special relationship. ‘Special’ as in I totally wrangled him into taking a picture with me after Taste of Tennis one year along with Karen from Tennis Panorama. Whatever. When he loses, I feel it, okay?

Sam Stosur imploded during her epic choke against Jie Zheng in the second round – certainly not “BREAKING NEWS!” for her in Oz. Disappointing? Yes. Shocking? Hell nah nah. Other than that, the faves have been making pretty quick work of their foes. Maria Sharapova not only performed a single axel, triple sow cow, double double bagel in her first two rounds, but also a pseudo-controversial post-match celebration after crushing Venus Williams. (Shrieka and/or her corporate sponsor doppelganger also officially joined Twitter.)

"Thumbs up for me in a dress?"

Like the Russian giant, Serena Williams has been barely losing games. She’s been rolling over her opponents and almost took her right ankle with her. But ReRe redeemed herself by pummeling two 128 mph serves – that’s gotta make a girl feel good. During her match against an injured Jamie Hampton (who can hit a serious ball) Victoria Azarenka seemed…cranky. Maybe she needs a RedFoo diet. Svetlana Kuznetsova is wearing a dress. That alone is news. But the 2-time Grand Slammer is having a good streak and winning matches. Shhhh! Don’t tell her.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PETRA KVITOVA? We didn’t get any closer to answering this question in Oz. Sadly.

"Gimme that MOMA, Worm."

Novak Djokovic is looking pretty flawless in game and Uniqlo fashion. Roger Federer and Andy Murray haven’t lost a set either, but they've all had some tight sets. Still, in this form, it’s hard to see any of them getting upset before the semifinals. Jerzy Janowicz gave an Oscar-winning performance. Can you believe the fucking unbelievably bad luck Brian Baker has had with injuries? It was heartbreaking to see him being wheeled off the court after tearing his meniscus during his second round match against Sam Querrey. Another four months out for BB. On the opposite side of the tennis spectrum, Rafael Nadal announced he’s officially returning a bit earlier at the Chilean Open on February 4. Rafanatics rejoice!

So, onto the second week. Bring it.

[Photo(s) credit: Getty Images, AP]