PHOTO OP: Dolgopolov's hairy situation

Alexandr Dolgopolov is taking this whole "co-ed on spring break" thing a little too far. 

What's next - a tramp stamp?

[Photo(s) credit: Matthew Stockman/Getty Images]

FASHION FIX: Venus Williams returns in Miami, revamps EleVen

There were two big returns to the court today at the Sony Ericsson Open in Miami. Well, two and a half. First, Alisa Kleybanova. She played her first match since leaving the WTA tour 10 months ago to get treatment for Hodgkin's Lymphoma - and won. Next up was Venus Williams. She hadn't played a singles match since announcing she was suffering from Sjögren's Syndrome 7 months ago at the US Open. She won her opening match as well, routing Kimiko Date-Krumm 6-0, 6-3.

And now for the half. I say "half" not because it's half as good or anything but because it just doesn't compare to these two lady ballers coming back from these serious health conditions. But, it's worth a mention: EleVen is back, too!

V broke out a new dress for her match from the relaunched 2012 Spring Collection which has evolved into more sportswear than just sports apparel. Apparently, she now has an excuse for the full-on cray she had been wearing on court as of late. You know - this, this, this, this, this. It was all an "experiment." Like pairing a brown belt with black shoes. Or chunky bangs. This new EleVen is the rawlness (my word, not hers). And, get this - there's now a men's line. V's planning on having mass distribution for EleVen so more people can wear what she wears on court.

It's a fine restart. Some basics with a bit of fashion thrown in (loving the "Oh & Oh" tagline). And, V definitely upped the quality quotient from what I can tell in the pictures. I'll be interested to see how the collections evolve and where she ends up selling it. But, I give her full credit for continuing to build the Venus Williams brand. Young lady ballers, pay attention. There's life after tennis so be prepared.

More shots from the EleVen capsule collection after the jump - click the headline!

GUEST POST: The German 5 on the rise

By Anna Nartova

In the semifinals of Dubai Duty Free Tennis Open, Julia Goerges defeated Caroline Wozniacki for the third consecutive time, so I thought it was high time to document the whirlwind revival of German women’s tennis. Although these girls haven’t reached the heights of Steffi Graf yet, having 5 players rising to the WTA Top 40 is more than ‘fantastisch.’

Read the rest of "The German 5" after the jump. Click the headline, y'all.

(UPDATED) QUOTE OF THE DAY: Victoria Azarenka

If I relax my butt a little bit, somebody's going to come and kick it.

- Victoria Azarenka on being the top lady baller

And by "somebody" she means the "little magician." And by "little magician" she means, er, a Polish lady baller who can't wait to do just what Vika said after what she said about Vika. 

Ay, what a telenovela. Can't wait to read into all of the stare downs, fist pumps and other on-court dramz during their Indian Wells quarterfinal. Just grab your popcorn and ENJOY.

UPDATE: Forget a telenovela. More like a mini-commercial break. Ouch.

[Photo(s) credit: Jeff Gross/Getty Images]

Persistence pays off for McHale

Then world No. 1 Caroline Wozniacki. Current No. 1 Victoria Azarenka. Svetlana Kuznetsova. Marion Bartoli. Petra Kvitova knows exactly what they were thinking when they went down to the unassuming Christina McHale (something close to "What the hell???"). The Wimbledon champ was ousted from Indian Wells by the American 2-6, 6-2, 6-3 in the third round.

It's hard to pinpoint what it is that Christina does to fluster these bigger lady ballers. She doesn't have obvious weapons and she moves fine. Let's see. The 19-year old likes the big stage, that's for sure. But what else? She's pretty solid off the ground. But what I think gets to them is her dogged persistence. Like a terrier, she wouldn't let go of her fun, squeaky chew toy once she got hold of it (that being Petra and her squawk). The American could've gone into shell shock mode after getting spanked by Petra's piercing ground game in the first set but she waited for her opportunity - and you just know you'll get at least one with the Czech. And when Christina found her opening she held on.

Continued good signs for her development. Let's see how she builds off this win.

[Photo(s) credit: Matthew Stockman/Getty Images]

VIDEO VAULT: Wozniacki gets worked on and over

"Life on the tennis tour isn't glamorous." Whoever said that is a fucking liar. Just watch this video from the WTA. And just to rub it in they zoom in and follow Caroline Wozniacki as stylists, including Oriflame's Jonas Wramell, brush, pull and primp at the Dane to get her ready for a baller party.

Yeah, they're right. This totally looks like work. Sorta like my job but without the hair, makeup, pretty clothes, stylists, cameras, electronica soundtrack and birds:


[Photo(s) and video credit: WTA]

VIDEO VAULT: It's all fun and games at Madison Square Garden

Struggling Andy Roddick STUNNED the tennis world when he shocked Dubai champ Roger Federer 7-5, 7-6 (7) in the opening, er, only round at tonight's BNP Paribas Showdown at Madison Square Garden. "I feel like Jeremy Lin wanted me to win," said A-Rod afteward. No doubt.

Some other stuff happened, too, involving a dancing Maria Sharapova, Caroline Wozniacki (who lost to Shrieka 6-3, 6-4) and the Dane's boy toy, top golfer Rory McIlroy (all I have to say is "hair" and "why?"). See video.

 [Video: JOTennisVideos]

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Andy Murray

If there was more tournaments on these courts, I think he could definitely be No. 1 in the world for the next few years.

- Andy Murray on Roger Federer's stellar play on the fast courts of Dubai

I was actually thinking about this very thing after reading that Fed won Dubai for the fifth time over the weekend. His last four titles before this one were all on indoor hard aka FAST: Rotterdam, ATP World Tour Finals in London, Paris Masters and Basel. He likes speed. Always has, always will.

But, do I think he could be the top baller over the likes of Novak Djokovic or Rafael Nadal over the next few years if more surfaces were quicker? Nope. Let's be real. While it's his best chance, he's not going to blow them off any surface consistently anymore, and not enough to grab the top spot. He'd be in the mix and would even sneak in another major. That's it, which is still impressive for someone at this point in their career.

But it's all just talk. We'll never know because the tourneys aren't going to all of sudden quicken up the courts. Me thinks Muzz might've had his tail tucked in between his legs a bit after this loss.

[Photo(s) credit: AP]

PHOTO OP: Biljana can't contain herself

"Go Tipsy. Fight. Keep going. Don't...zzzzzzz....huh?"

Biljana Tipsarevic really should learn to be more catatonic during matches involving hubby Janko. She might inadvertently distract him with all her cheering and screaming from the baller box.

[Photo(s) credit: AP]

PHOTO OP: Venus, Serena and Sharapova hit up Hollywood

So amalzing (that's for you, Penny) to see Venus Williams out and about, looking full-on gorge at last night's Vanity Fair Oscar Party in West Hollywood. Since she hasn't returned yet to the courts yet, this outing is the next best thing. And she got the leg memo.

Looks like Serena Williams got the memo on the old Hollywood theme last night if her mermaid dress is any indication. She worked her curves and loved every minute of it. Feeling the color, too.

Before. And after. All in a nights work for the Russian glamazon Maria Sharapova. But, if anyone saw the person who shredded up Shrieka's dress and left her with a nightie, let her know. Would you, please?

Shots of ReRe and Shrieka giving it from behind after the jump - click the headline.