FASHION FIX: Striped socks! At the US Open!

No, it's not your eyes. Those are stripes. On a sock. 

So, at least one of my tennis fashion dreams has finally come true. The other one is, of course, shorty-shorts on the boys, and that one is even starting to happen (hello, legs).

H&M has already come a long way from where they started with Tomas Berdych earlier this year in Oz. And it's a different look for Big Berd, who always leaned towards classic looks with Nike. We've definitely moved into more fashionable territory.

Oh yeah. He won his second round match, too.

[Photo(s) credit: AP Photo/Mike Groll]

FASHION FIX: Venus Williams goes bold at the US Open

Good to see Venus Williams has her game back, at least for her opening round match. The 2-time US Open champ exacted a bit of revenge on Kirsten Flipkens, upsetting the Belgian 12th seed 6-1, 6-2. Flipper had beaten V in Canada a few weeks ago after the American fed her a full-on bagel in the first set. I use the word “upsetting” very loosely here because, well, it’s Venus Williams. Regardless of her ranking (she sits at No. 60 currently), she’s still dangerous when her game is on – and it was this match.

Can we say the same about her latest FASHION FIX? Well, she certainly jumped on the “bold” trend in design and color. She’s all about this season’s striking florals for her latest EleVen by Venus Williams dress.

But it didn’t stop there. V brought out the nail art trend showcasing some bling glued onto her finely manicured hands that matched her electric pink hair. I'd be afraid I might gouge my eye out hitting a backhand or something. But then again, I'm not a 7-time Grand Slammer with laser beams for groundies. She's adept at playing fully accessorized.

Bold and electric. Just like her game used to be. Yes, it pained me to write that, but it’s true. I really do hope she has a good showing in Flushing Meadows.

One reporter in her post-match presser had a word for her hair: restankulous. Like, to be really stank? I’m so confused. Reporter, please explain yourself!

[Photo(s) credit: Getty Images]

HE SAID/SHE SAID: 2013 Wimbledon, Day One

Q. You've said that only an arrogant man would not have doubts. You've said that a couple of times now. Do you have some doubts on your play on grass? And are you proud of your legacy on grass for a person who was brought up on clay?

RAFAEL NADAL: Obviously I have doubts. I have doubts on grass. I have doubts on clay and hard, for sure in indoor.
If I don't have doubts is because I really don't feel the passion for this game. You don't see myself with doubts the first week of Roland Garros? Yes, with a lot of doubts. Today I play with doubts. I lost, yes.

Q. But you're proud of your grass court play?

RAFAEL NADAL: If I'm proud today?

Q. Not today. Over the years, what you have done on grass.

RAFAEL NADAL: What do you think? Five finals, two victories. I don't know how many players have that. I think for me is a lot. That don't mean I not going to keep trying to have success in this surface.

Q. How did you draw on your years of experience when a friend of yours suffered a tough defeat in the first round in a big tournament back in America? Did you give some nice advice to console him after that setback?

VICTORIA AZARENKA: Sorry, who are you talking about?

Q. Redfoo.

VICTORIA AZARENKA: Oh, my God. I thought you were talking about real US Open tournament. He's happy with the match. I didn't see the match because was nighttime here. I mean, as long as he's happy ... I'm proud of him no matter what. 

To go out and have courage to do something like that, that's pretty remarkable. He's a champion in his heart. I mean, his forehand should get better, definitely. I mean, that's something that he has to work on.

Q. The win makes you the most successful British man in Grand Slams ever. Were you aware of that?

ANDY MURRAY: Yeah, I didn't actually know that. Yeah, that's nice. You know, the Grand Slams are obviously the pinnacle of our sport. It's the tournaments I prepare extremely hard for, you know, 
where you want to try and play your best tennis.

Yeah, I guess that shows I've played some of my best tennis at the slams, and hopefully I can continue that.

Q. This week there's a commemoration of 40 years of the WTA. We have some of the best players ever playing right now. When you think of the sport, who do you consider the greatest woman player ever and why?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: That's an extremely tough question because I wasn't part of the generation which consisted of incredible players. I can only speak of the generation that I was part of.

I never played Steffi Graf. I never played Chris Evert. Never played Navratilova. So those are considered incredible champions.

So I think on many different levels, they all deserve a tremendous amount of respect. And I don't think one should be called greater than the other. There's no real reason for that.

Q. If you could play one player who you haven't played?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Probably Steffi.

Q. How do you think you'd play with her great forehand, her speed?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: I think she'd chop me up (smiling).

Q. Last question from me. I'm from Switzerland, so can you talk a little bit more about Roger Federer's serve? Is it tough to read?

JERZY JANOWICZ: I played against Roger once in Rome, so I remember during the important points he was serving ace perfectly on the line. So this was quite annoying sometimes. But, yeah, it's not easy to read his serve. Second of all, he has unbelievable second serve. He has great kick.

Q. On grass, what do you think comes easy to you and what is challenging for you on this surface?

SLOANE STEPHENS: I think you get to hit the ball as hard as you can and most of the time it's still going to go in. I think that's good, and that's the easiest part. You just, like, go for your shots on. Most of the ones on hardcourts are like going to go to the fence, and on grass for some reason it stays in.

Moving is the hardest part. You want to run, and when you think you're going to slide and do something cool you're on the floor. So I think movement is the hardest part.

Q. This is your sixth time out there on opening day as defending champion. Does it now feel familiar, or do you have a sense of excitement and nerves? Would you wish this were a longer match, to have longer on court for the first day?

ROGER FEDERER: Yeah, the longer the match, the longer you spend on Centre Court, it's not a bad thing. That's what I was thinking today. It went by very quickly. But I guess at the end of the day you'd prefer to have it this way, walk away as a winner instead of being out there for five hours and losing in the first round.

It's been always a dream come true for me. In some ways, once I understood what it's all about, opening Monday, the defending champion gets the honor to open the court, ever since it's been an amazing day and match to be part of. And I see it also for the other players. They always think it's super exciting being a part of that match. I'm happy I won 'em all. So that's been a good thing, as well. That helps to enjoy it (smiling).

Q. Grass doesn't suck too badly.

ANDREA PETKOVIC: Well, it awkwardly has to do with the head a lot. Normally when I went into the grass season I was already pissed before I hit one ball. This time I was just in this whole mood of gratefulness for my second chance career. I just see it really as a second career. I was just like, Okay, you're just going to go for the grass and love it and try to start a romance with it.

If it didn't want you, you're going to force it to love back. So I'm just enjoying myself really. I'm never going to be ... it's never going to be my favorite surface, but as I said, I'm working at least on a romance.

Q. Can you tell us what was your very first thought on Friday when you saw the draw, Rafa in the first round?

STEVE DARCIS: Shit (laughter).

[Photo(s) credit: Getty Images]

The City of Light shines on Rafael Nadal and Serena Williams

So, what did you think of this year’s Roland Garros? Surprised? OF COURSE YOU WEREN’T.

The heavy pre-tourney faves, Rafael Nadal and Serena Williams, won big. Sure, Rafa started off the fortnight scratchy, losing a set in each of his first two matches, before running into the world’s top baller, Novak Djokovic, and winning an insta-classic, five-set semifinal match. He was the better baller throughout the contest and almost let it slip before pulling it out late in the fifth. Once in the final, he smothered compatriot, David Ferrer, as he is wont to do on the slippery stuff.

Even less of a surprise was ReRe’s demolition of the ladies’ field. I tweeted after she was pushed to three sets by Svetlana Kuznetsova that their quarterfinal match may have been the de facto final. While Maria Sharapova was game and gave it her best in the actual final (no really, she played as well as I’ve seen her against ReRe start to finish), Sveta actually made the world’s top lady baller uncomfortable enough to pull out a set and a break in the third. But closing out the 16-time Grand Slammer is a whole other question. And that’s something few lady ballers—three in fact—have done in the past year.

It used to be that Roland Garros was where you could watch a totally unexpected, out-of-left-field baller win one of tennis’s four major tourneys. Think Iva Majoli. Or Gaston Gaudio. Clay, like a windy day, was thought of as an equalizer, where anyone could have a slip up, sometimes literally, and bite the dust. In one respect, it was exciting; but it doesn’t happen as much anymore. Blame the homogenizing of playing styles, the equipment, the balls, whatever fits your argument.

So does it make Rafa and ReRe’s wins less thrilling? If you think witnessing two living legends cement their place in the annals of tennis history is akin to watching paint dry, the hell yeah. But not me. Rafa’s 12th- major win put him past Rod Laver and Bjorn Borg. I said ROD LAVER and BJORN BORG. ReRe is two major wins from tying Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova, which very well could happen by year’s end. And as they both fell to the clay after clinching match point, with a mix of exhilaration, relief and satisfaction, you wouldn’t be blamed for thinking it was their first time.

Because winning never gets old, even for champions.

[Photo(s) credit: Getty Images]

Shirtless Andy Murray shows off something sweaty

Andy Murray fan? Read The Times Magazine London? Like shirtless Brit boys? WELL, TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!

The Times Magazine has what they're calling the Miami champ's "most revealing interview yet" with this photo of a bare chested, sweaty (or artificially lubed), moley, barely conscious Muzz kicking off the article. Get it? But, what what they won't be revealing is the rest of the article for all you freeloaders because of their pay wall.

Like it or not, you're going to have to pay a few pounds a week just to see how much more Muzz The Times Magazine is hiding behind that pay wall. But, let's make a deal. If you do, tell me what you find. Because I don't pay for internet stuff. Unless it's porn. Because that's totally worth it.

[Photo(s) credit: The Times Magazine via Andy Murray Facebook page]

A sneak peek at the Williams sisters documentary

Here's a sneak peek at the documentary about Venus and Serena Williams that they reportedly weren't too happy with. The sisters objected to the way father, Richard, ended up coming across in the film. Not exactly sure what that means, but I sure can't wait to find out.

The Williams sisters have been notoriously private over the years, barely letting anyone outside their immediate circles into their lives. But, based on this preview, fans might finally a good look.

The documentary will be available on demand April 4 and opening in theaters on May 10.

VIDEO VAULT: The 2013 Sony Open player party red carpet

With all of the kudos showered on Indian Wells over the last two weeks, it wouldn't be a surprise to find Miami drowning its sorrows in frozen maragaritas at some bar along Ocean Drive. And, to add salt to the glass rim, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal opted out of competing.

Here's the silver lining - Miami gets the Williams sisters. You know, the ones who annually give the finger to that inconsequential tourney in the California desert. The tourney even throws their own baller party just like the one for the BNP Paribas Open - with a red carpet, media hounds, and questionable outfits to boot. No, I'm not talking about Novak Djokovic's palm tree blazer. I kinda like it. Really.

FASHION FIX: Nike spring looks for Serena, Sharapova, Azarenka, and Li

It's spring, right?! Uh, not quite. Winter is still hanging on here in NYC, clinging to life with its frozen talons (can you tell I hate winter?). At least there are parts of the world and this country where it's bright, warm, and people are half dressed. Miami is one of those places, and it's where the ATP and WTA tours are heading for the second Masters 1000 and Premier tourneys, respectively, at the Sony Open. You can see the draws here.

It's also where Nike is debuting some of their spring looks for their lady ballers. Check 'em out:

Top seed Serena Williams will be wearing the Force Pleated Knit Dress. The spring-esque color blocking, which I love, reminds me that spring is officially starting tomorrow. BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW IT BECAUSE IT WAS SNOWING HERE. YEAH, SNOWING.

Indian Wells champ and third seed Maria Sharapova will be, of course, working duds from her eponymous collection for Nike including the Premier Maria Tank paired with the Premier Maria Skort. Nice green.

Why does it always seem Victoria Azarenka, the No. 2 seed, always gets the short end of the fashion stick with Nike? Her Australian Open dress was a flop, and this outfit - the Force Printed Tank with the Force Flouncy Woven Skort - isn't going to blind you with its incredibly fashionable design. And that includes the disco print on the straps.

Here's the plus and it's a big one: SHE'S BACK. It will be fantastic to see fifth seed Li Na in action after being out since rehabbing the ankle she injured during her run to the Australian Open final. She'll be working the Force Pure Tennis Top paired with the Pleated Knit Skirt. Pretty basic and typical for her. I'm just excited she's showing up at all.

[Photo(s) credit: Nike Tennis Facebook Page]

PHOTO OP: The 2013 BNP Paribas Open Player Party

I love a good party. It's a chance to dress up, perhaps in something you wouldn't usually wear, have a few laughs and get totally smashed. On second thought, you never want to be that person at the party who ends up seeing their drunken escapades on YouTube. And, I'm not speaking from experience. Pinky swear. 

Anyway, some of the ballers on the ATP and WTA tours put on their party best (or worst, in some cases) for last night's BNP Paribas Open Player Party held at the IW Club. Let's have a look.

THE BOY BALLERS: 

Novak Djokovic: Dayum. Oh right. I actually love the monochromatic look here. It helps to dress up the casual but very classic look. Great navy suede bucks to break it up.

Click on the headline for more looks from last night's bash!

SIGHTING: Maria Sharapova shines at Vanity Fair Oscar Party ***UPDATED***

Maria Sharapova looked stunning at the annual Vanity Fair Oscar Party last night. According to her website, the Russian glamazon "wore a dress by Amanda Wakeley, shoes by Manolo Blahnik and accessorized it with a clutch bag by Alexander McQueen, earrings by Isharaya and cuffs by Katherine Sultan."

The site even delves deep into her hair and makeup inspirations: "Inspirations for Maria's hair: Sleek, modern and chic. Inspiration for Maria's makeup:  Chic, young, classic, neutral palette, and lip on channel coco moisturizing lip balm. Line on top of eyes to define her eyes with voluminous mascara." Like I said, DEEP.

She also got to tweeting about her prep and the dangers of dressing in a floor-length at a crowded party (I totes get it):

Four hours of training in the morning, a baby birthday stop by and now the Vanity Fair party. I've seen it all today. Busy #oscars2013 day!
— Maria Sharapova (@MariaSharapova) February 25, 2013

Is the Vanity Fair party ready for some more sleek blonde hair action? #OscarReady
— Maria Sharapova (@MariaSharapova) February 25, 2013

Floor length gowns don't really work in sardine canned environments. #redcarpet
— Maria Sharapova (@MariaSharapova) February 25, 2013

Last year, Shrieka looked like just she rolled out of bed. Or stepped into a paper shredder. What a difference a year, and a Career Slam, makes.

UPDATE: Here's an interview from the Oscar party.

[Photo(s) credit: Getty Images]

PHOTO OP: Tomas Berdych in all his glory

Looks like Tomas Berdych, who will face Jo-Wilfried Tsonga in the Marseille final tomorrow, is getting something stretched. Not sure if it's what he was hoping for, though. But he looks happy sooooooo...

This pic is in desperate need of a caption. It's calling out, crying for one. Someone? Anyone?

[Photo(s) credit: Tomas Berdych FB page]

VIDEO VAULT: A Guys' Guide to Valentine's Day by Redfoo

Guys. It's Valentine's Day. Are you bombing out with a blooming bouquet of roses? Getting a sour face when you present a box of sweet treats? Here's why: IT'S BORING.

If you really want a sure fire way to touch someone's heart (and other naughty bits), take off your shirt, put on your best pink fuzzy bear head and do the Harlem Shake in your club room (you have one, right?) with your pantless clones like Redfoo did for his love thang, Victoria Azarenka. See for yourself:

And you know what? That shit WORKS. Exhibit A:

@redfoo ow.ly/i/1wA6n im sleeping on the floor tonight :) thank u ❤
— victoria azarenka (@vika7) February 14, 2013

PHOTO OP: FED CUP's best fist pumps

Maria Kirilenko

FED CUP kicked off this weekend. And, even though Fist Pumping Lifetime Achievement Award winner Ana Ivanovic pulled out of Serbia's tie against the Slovak Republic after injuring her shoulder at the Australian Open, there were still plenty of lady ballers willing to take her place and throw up a fist in her honor (that part is TOTALLY made up). See the results here and click the headline to see the best of this weekend's FED CUP fist pumping.

PHOTO OP: Italians do it better...

...without pants.

[Photo(s) credit: Flavia Pennetta tweet]

Rafael Nadal! On a tennis court! Again!

Happy much? Why, yes, yes I am. So is he and the other he, as he should be. Rafael Nadal's hand, head, abs, infamous ass-ets and that wonky left knee all returned to action today in Vina del Mar, Chile. He paired up with Juan Monaco to win his first match in over 7 months, albeit in doubles, over Frantisek Cermak and Lukas Dlouhy 6-3, 6-2 in the VTR Open clay-court tournament. Here are some highlights:
 

Tomorrow is Rafa's knee's first big test as he plays his first singles match against Federico Delbonis.

So, how did his knee hold up today?  Here's what he had to say after the win: "At the end of the day the doctors have said it's OK. There is no risk of making it worse. My knee keeps hurting. But the fact I am playing here is a thing of joy."

"I am not 100 percent, I need some weeks. If it hurts, it hurts and we'll put up with it. I am here to play tennis, with or without pain. ...I'm happy to have played an official game, although it was doubles."

Bottom line, there's pain and he's dealing with it. It should come as no surprise since Uncle Toni said there could be discomfort for a few more weeks. But Rafa's smiling big and so am I. And, if I had to bet, I'd say you are, too. Unless you're a robot. But, even robots have mechanical hearts.

[Photo(s) credit: @RafaelNadal Twitter account]

PHOTO OP: This hand is making its comeback

That's what almost eight months out looks like? Good grief.

[Photo(s) credit: Nike Tennis]

2013 Australian Open: Perhaps it’s just a case of déjà vu

There’s a weird feeling nagging at me. The calendar says the Australian Open came and went, and I remember watching it (full disclosure: DVR is my capital B-estie) but nothing seems that different. No euphoria from an epic final (see last year) or a first-time major winner (see last year). Not even a sniff of a legend showing the young guns how’s it really done (see the 2012 “Serena Storm”). Novak Djokovic and Victoria Azarenka entered the year and this tourney as world number ones and defending champions, and when the last ball was smacked they were left standing in the same spot they began. Wizards of Oz. Again.

Sure, a whole slew of drama filled out the middle. They both had to overcome tough moments that tested their champion’s mettle – an inexhaustible Nole eeking out a 12-10 fifth set win over Stanislas Wawrinka in a fourth round war and Vika fighting through a wonky rib and/or breathing problems and/or anxiety in her controversial semifinal win over a clearly over-awed Sloane Stephens and/AND a majority anti-Vika crowd in the final. But in the end, they defended their titles and remained the top ballers in the world.

Maybe that’s why I’ve been struggling a bit trying to put the finishing touches on this fortnight in Melbourne. It doesn’t seem like anything was figured out. I suppose it just means this first Grand Slam of the year is a proper beginning…a true starting point…A LAUNCHING PAD! So, might this year be different than the last?

After Nole fell onto his back, exhausted and elated, after almost six hours battling Rafael Nadal, it was all about the “Nole Slam.” Would he become first man since Rod Laver to hold all 4 majors at once and the 8th man in tennis history to complete the Career Grand Slam at Roland Garros? As we all know, Rafa exacted his revenge and ended that conversation. Although there were glimpses of that remarkable form, Nole was never really “Nole” again until the fall indoor season when he regained the top spot from Roger Federer and won the ATP World Tour Finals.

Vika went on a spectacular tear after claiming her first major and the top ranking in Melbourne, winning 26-straight matches until she was defeated by Marion Bartoli at the Sony Ericsson Open. From there, the Belarussian went into something of a slumber while Serena Williams took a stranglehold on Vika (going 0-5 against ReRe) and the rest of 2012. The 15-time Grand Slammer appeared primed to continue her domination in Oz, but a feisty Stephens and a turned ankle stopped her masterful run. When a door opens in tennis you better take it, and Vika did in the end.

"I was actually really happy that I went through so many things knowing that I can still produce the tennis that I can and keep the focus that I can," she said in her post-match presser. "It just motivates me to be a better player."

They were challenged and overcame. Now Nole and Vika are back where they began. But it’s different. Where they ended up may be the same, but something undoubtedly has changed. Adversity has a way of doing that. It’s like a full-circle moment except this one isn’t completed yet. Far from it. There’s still a whole season ahead of them, hungry foes to defeat, and a lot of work still left to do. Just ask Nole.

"You know, I'm just trying to embrace this moment and enjoy it as much as I can and see where tomorrow brings me."

 [Photo(s) credit: AP, Getty]

Sloane Stephens phones it in at the Australian Open, so to speak

"DM me guuurl!"

One of the best moments from Sloane Stephens's breakthrough win over Serena Williams in the Australian Open quarterfinals was right after the pair shook hands. The 19-year old went straight for her phone to see if her mom had texted her. Probably, but she couldn't tell from the 233 messages she had waiting for her. Kids. She also said after the match, "I hope to have more Twitter followers" which she does now (43,321 and climbing). That's what it's all about, folks.

It was reminiscent of a 17-year old Maria Sharapova going for her dad's phone to call her mom after winning Wimbledon over, of course, ReRe. She famously wasn't able to grab a signal leaving everyone in giggles and securing the newly-minted star with a phone sponsor, Motorola, one of her many future sponsors (at 3:35):



I guess a teenage win over the 15-time Grand Slammer at a major is worth a phone check. And a lucrative sponsorship. Smartphone brands and carriers take note.

[Photo(s) credit: @TheJordanMiller]

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Stanislas Wawrinka

We pushed each other to the limit. But in the end I lost and the disappointment is there and the disappointment is enormous. But I do think it’s also the most accomplished match I’ve ever played.

--Stan Wawrinka after losing to Novak Djokovic 1-6, 7-5, 6-4, 6-7 (5-7), 12-10 in an epic fourth rounder at the Australian Open

Awesome effort, Stanny Boy.

[Photo(s) credit: AP]

Delpo goes down, double bagels and Kuznetsova all dressed up

"Yup. A real head scratcher."

Ahhhhh. The first week of play is over at the 2013 Australian Open. I dare say most everything has been going to plan, with the exception of sixth-seeeded Juan Martin del Potro’s 5-set loss to Frenchie Jeremy Chardy in the third round yesterday. If you follow me on Twitter (self-promo alert: @RawUncutTennis), you will have witnessed my conniption during the tennis match. You see, Delpo and I have a very special relationship. ‘Special’ as in I totally wrangled him into taking a picture with me after Taste of Tennis one year along with Karen from Tennis Panorama. Whatever. When he loses, I feel it, okay?

Sam Stosur imploded during her epic choke against Jie Zheng in the second round – certainly not “BREAKING NEWS!” for her in Oz. Disappointing? Yes. Shocking? Hell nah nah. Other than that, the faves have been making pretty quick work of their foes. Maria Sharapova not only performed a single axel, triple sow cow, double double bagel in her first two rounds, but also a pseudo-controversial post-match celebration after crushing Venus Williams. (Shrieka and/or her corporate sponsor doppelganger also officially joined Twitter.)

"Thumbs up for me in a dress?"

Like the Russian giant, Serena Williams has been barely losing games. She’s been rolling over her opponents and almost took her right ankle with her. But ReRe redeemed herself by pummeling two 128 mph serves – that’s gotta make a girl feel good. During her match against an injured Jamie Hampton (who can hit a serious ball) Victoria Azarenka seemed…cranky. Maybe she needs a RedFoo diet. Svetlana Kuznetsova is wearing a dress. That alone is news. But the 2-time Grand Slammer is having a good streak and winning matches. Shhhh! Don’t tell her.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PETRA KVITOVA? We didn’t get any closer to answering this question in Oz. Sadly.

"Gimme that MOMA, Worm."

Novak Djokovic is looking pretty flawless in game and Uniqlo fashion. Roger Federer and Andy Murray haven’t lost a set either, but they've all had some tight sets. Still, in this form, it’s hard to see any of them getting upset before the semifinals. Jerzy Janowicz gave an Oscar-winning performance. Can you believe the fucking unbelievably bad luck Brian Baker has had with injuries? It was heartbreaking to see him being wheeled off the court after tearing his meniscus during his second round match against Sam Querrey. Another four months out for BB. On the opposite side of the tennis spectrum, Rafael Nadal announced he’s officially returning a bit earlier at the Chilean Open on February 4. Rafanatics rejoice!

So, onto the second week. Bring it.

[Photo(s) credit: Getty Images, AP]

FASHION FIX: Tomas Berdych in H&M

No, you're not looking at Tomas Berdych's practice kit. The Czech baller, who had been sponsored by Nike for years, is now working H&M, beginning at this year's Australian Open and off court as well.

I'm all for simple and classic, but these duds are severely under the top. Maybe it was a rush job or something. Hopefully, the fashion brand will give him something more like fashion in the near future. 

As for the shorts, I'm not sure what everyone is bitching about on Twitter. They're not that short. Gimme 70's McEnroe/Borg crotch huggers any day on ballers with legs like Big Berd. Besides, someone needed to carry Vika's torch this year.

[Photo(s) credit: Getty]

After a break, a return to form for the 2013 Australian Open

"We're on top of the world! And, so HAWT."

Rafael Nadal totally ruined our plan. We were supposed to make our return to tennis together, and then he had to ruin it by picking up that stupid stomach thingy and withdrawing from the Australian Open. I’m never making plans with you again, Rafa. NEVAH.

Soooooo. Anything exciting happen while I was away getting hitched and soaking in my new married life? Duh, of course. Andy Murray finally breaking through and getting that Grand Slam monkey of his ghostly white back (see photo below) tops my list. I definitely was hoping for more tears, sobs or blubbering after he clinched match point at the Flushing Meadows, but he’s British. It's like trying to get Victoria Azarenka to take it down 1000 notches. Ain't. Gonna. Happen. His win over Roger Federer at the Olympics only a few weeks after losing the Wimbledon final was so impressive. Will 2013 be the long-awaited moment when a Brit is once again named "The All England Lawn Tennis Club Single Handed Champion of the World?"

"Look at me. You're useless, sun."

Serena Williams is tennis’s golden girl at the moment – or is she one of the Golden Girls of tennis? Hell, she even lives in South Florida, so I guess both. I'll be damned if she isn't seemingly getting better with age after having one of her best seasons on the WTA tour at the age of 31, winning Wimbledon, the U.S. Open and the singles and doubles gold with sister Venus at the Olympics. If ReRe’s winning run in Brisbane is any indicator, she hasn’t stepped off the gas having now won 52 of her last 54 matches. But what’s with her swapping the actress-dates-rapper story for a rumored tennis coach-dates-tennis baller one aka Patrick Mouratoglou? Whatever’s going on with them, it’s working.

"Keep your eyes on the prize, Patty."

What else? Well, Maria Sharapova completed a Career Slam by winning the French Open. That was pretty cool. But, the Russian revealed at the U.S. Open that she and fellow giant Sasha Vujacic called off their engagement, and now she’s rumored to be dating Grigor Dimitrov. There's even a video encounter to "prove" it. Novak Djokovic ended 2012 as the year-end No.1 for the second consecutive year; he held it for most of last year with Fed holding the top spot in middle. Speaking of the Swiss, he won his 17th major title at the All-England Club, while Vika won her first in Oz.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH PETRA KVITOVA?! Sorry. Had to get that out.

I love this time of year. Like any beginning, it can set the tone for the entire season. There’s so much potential and possibility. But it’s not how you start – it’s how you end. Will any lady baller be able to stand tall against ReRe? The top women can’t even take sets from her right now, nevermind win matches. Maybe it’ll be some precocious up-and-comer with a big game and no fear a la Shrieka circa 2004; but they don’t come around that often anymore.

Rafa won’t be anywhere near his best level when he returns, so that leaves Nole, Muzz and Fed to scoop up the Grand Slam goodies. Or maybe someone else will break through their stranglehold on the majors. But who – Juan Martin del Potro, Tomas Berdych, David Ferrer, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga? Maybe one of the young, massive-serving ballers like Milos Raonic or Jerzy Janowicz will shock and awe or Grisha will fulfill his tremendous potential. That being said, it’s hard to see anyone breaking through the Top 3 especially at Slams. But as Rafa takes time to sharpen up his game, that will leave a hole in tourney draws for opportunist ballers ready to make their move.

Game on.

P.S. Getting married was and is awesome. Don’t believe the “it’s just a piece of paper” bullshit. Even though Kalil and I have been together almost 13 years, it does feel different in a great way. Plus, the reception was phenomenal. I danced my ass off. Seriously, I had to scrape it off the floor. This dance party was uber-special. So, if you’re thinking there’s no point in getting married because you already “feel” married, I say take the plunge and do it for reals.

[Photo(s) credit: Getty Images, Victoria Azarenka Facebook page]