PHOTO OP: Simulated sex(iness)

I tried desperately to find a somewhat scintillating shot from this photo shoot featuring Rafael Nadal and Bar Refaeli in the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and this was the best I could do. Yeah, no kidding. I mean, I've seen more chemistry between Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic. Hell, I've seen more chemistry between Serena Williams and US Open lines people.

Rafa should stick to tennis (shirt is optional there as well) and Bar should, uh, keep doing bikini-clad photo shoots. Just not with Rafa.

[Photo(s) credit: Sports Illustrated]

PHOTO OP: Caught in mid air

This photo of a glammy Svetlana Kuznetsova (you can pull yourself up off the floor...it's really her) was shot by Chris Kolk here in New York according to @froggysveta who tweeted it. Yeah, it's pretty cool.

There's another one of Sveta after the jump. I don't like nearly as much which is kinda why it's there. Click the header y'all.

VIDEO VAULT: Three words - NOLE, OIL, LEGS

Ok, I need to be quick here since work is kicking my cojones. The headline should tell you all you need to know but in case it doesn't let me further explain: IT'S NOVAK DJOKOVIC AND HE'S WEARING A GLADIATOR COSTUME WHILE HAVING OIL RUBBED ON HIS LEGS.

Uh, screw work. I need some private time now. Laters.

[Via: ATPWorldTour.com]

PHOTO OP: "Commence Dragulation...Dragulation Complete."

For the first time in I think EVAH I'm pretty much stunned into typing submission. But I'll try.

I haven't the slightest idea what Elena Dementieva was doing this shoot for or why but I don't even care: I. LOVE. IT. It's so over-the-top tranny trash I can't peel my eyes away even for a second. It's like watching a train wreck on crack or every episode of Drag U.

I'm thinking the inspiration here must have been Valley of the Dolls meets 70's satanic movies meets Siegfried and Roy all wrapped up in sequins and foil. Well, at least the tennis racquet is. No, really. IT IS:

Fab. You guys, I'd die to do a photoshoot this awful. Big hair, bad fashion, and fire. Everything I've ever dreamed about this Russian barbie gets to live out. Like Jujubee she's aspirational. There, I said it. Sue me.

I'm sure Maxim Afinogenov enjoyed this Elena as much as I'm doing right now. Uh, wait probably more. In a hetero way of course.

[Photo(s): tennisforum.com]